Friendship Chronicles: Navigating the Landscape of Adult Friendships

They say people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. While the family we are born into often represents a lifetime commitment due to blood ties, modern life has taught us that some connections are meant for a reason or a season. Friends can serve any of these purposes, but how do we determine which kind of friends we have?

As my son prepares to start school in April, I feel a mix of anxiety and excitement about the friends he will make. I wonder who they will be, how they will form friendships, how those friendships will evolve, and what impact they will have on each other. In this season of motherhood, I find myself reflecting on my friendships and how they have changed over time, especially in adulthood.

To me, a friend is someone with whom I share a bond of affection born from shared experiences. There is a hierarchy in these bonds based on their strength, which means not all family members are friends. But some friends have become family. During this time, I have contemplated the type of friend I aspire to be. Unfortunately, the distance has made it challenging to be as present as I’d like. It’s easy to see this as an excuse, but maintaining and nurturing friendships while navigating life's challenges isn’t easy.

I want to be there for my friends as they welcome new babies, celebrate their birthdays, support them through serious illnesses, and rejoice in their successes. I yearn to comfort them in times of grief, have monthly girls’ nights out, and simply listen to them vent about work, life, and everything in between. I wish for spontaneous lunches filled with laughter and rituals where we alternate hosting our families, allowing our kids to grow up together. I want to share our motherhood anxieties, exchange hacks, and even laugh at our failures. I wanted them to know I’m a call away for all of life’s ups and downs. I wanted to be that friend and more.

Reflecting on how my life has unfolded, I sometimes wonder how my friendships might have turned out if I hadn’t moved away from home. Surprisingly, this period has reduced the quantity but deepened the quality of my friendships that I’ve formed for a reason, in this season, and hopefully for a lifetime. I realize now that I am exactly where I need to be—not just for myself but for those whom I’ve crossed paths with.

I’m the friend you can reach out to at 3 a.m. because I’ll be awake. I’m the friend you can rant to and receive a level-headed response from since I’m not caught up in the chaos. I’m the friend who provides a fresh perspective because my experiences are different. I am that friend who is a WhatsApp text, call and audio message away, and I will reply to your messages by morning. And when we meet, it’s a celebration of all the moments we’ve missed, condensed into one joyful gathering.

Sustaining friendships in this busy era is challenging, but it’s certainly achievable, and forging new connections is equally rewarding. As the African saying goes, “Between true friends, even water drunk together is sweet enough.” Though I may not always be the friend I envisioned, I am profoundly grateful for the wonderful souls with whom I have shared moments and “broken bread.” These individuals are the true anchors in my life, and today, I celebrate each one of them. I invite you to reflect on your own friendships—what you hoped they would be and how they have transformed. Your stories can inspire and foster connections among us all. Feel free to share your experiences, and let’s celebrate the bonds that enrich our lives together.