A Father’s Influence: The Silent Force Behind Successful Women

An African proverb states, “A child is what you put into him.” Many powerful women attribute their success to their parents, particularly their fathers. Her Excellency Ameenah Gurib-Fakim, the first female president of Mauritius, credits her father for supporting her education despite growing up in a patriarchal society. Similarly, Dr. Wangari Maathai’s father involved her in family discussions and valued her opinions, a rarity in the Kikuyu society. She became the first woman in East and Central Africa to earn a Doctor of Philosophy and the first African woman to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 2004. These examples highlight the importance of a strong, supportive father figure in shaping resilient and successful women who drive significant change in their communities.

I am a first-born girl in my family, my older brothers and I only share a father. Growing up in the 1990s in Kampala, I experienced a society that was, and still is, patriarchal. Some relatives even told my father that “it was useless to educate girls because they end up pregnant or drop out of school to get married.” Lucky for us, our father doesn’t follow trends. He understood the value of education, having struggled to put himself through school, and wanted a different outcome for all his children, especially my sister and me. He not only provided for us but was also present in meaningful ways—coming home early for dinner every night, playing board games and cards with us daily, and discussing our days. To this day, we still share meals, talk about our lives and play games, just as we did back then.

My father’s hard work has paid off. My numerous achievements include; attending Mt. St. Mary’s College Namagunga, a top-tier high school in Uganda, and later joining Kyambogo University on government sponsorship to study Civil Engineering. I eventually earned a PhD in Civil Engineering from Osaka University in Japan.

Entering a predominantly male industry, I often found myself among significantly fewer women. For instance, there were only about 15 women out of 100 civil engineering students in my undergraduate class. Throughout my education and career, I interacted with many professionals, mostly men, who commented on my confidence and eloquence. I attribute this to my education and the time my father and I spent watching and discussing the news, which taught me to express my views and opinions without fear of rejection.

From an early age, my dad involved me in decision-making, from small choices to significant ones. He often encouraged me to decide on my own course of action, assuring me that he would support me regardless of the outcome. When I was 12years, preparing for national exams to enter high school, I needed to fill out a form with four school choices. After researching viable options, I presented my choices to him. He listened attentively, asked for clarification, and then asked where I wanted to go. I shared my top choices, and he replied, “ogwawe gw’okusoma ogwange gw’okurolera,” which loosely translates to “your responsibility is to study and soar as far as you can, and mine is to support you as best as I can.” That day, he planted a seed of assurance and affirmation that has guided all my major decisions since. Even during challenging times in my graduate studies in Japan, I knew my father believed in me and my abilities.

I could elaborate on the many ways my father has consciously and unconsciously shaped me into the woman I am today. People often ask me about my father, and when I tell them who he is, they speak of his integrity, fairness, hard work, and dedication to bettering our community—values I carry with me in everything I do. Many men from various backgrounds come to my parents’ home in Kyenjojo seeking my father’s advice on raising strong families, especially daughters. This is a testament to his role as a pillar of our family and community in empowering girls and women. Recently, he told me, “kakusanga ensi ekumiga, oigyege omuka, nyowe taata wawe nkyalimwomezi,” meaning, “If you ever find yourself between a rock and a hard place, you can always come back home.” It is comforting to know that no matter what happens, I am always welcome to stay at my parents’ house. But I also know that because of him, I can succeed anywhere.

This Women’s Week, I want to celebrate my father, Mr. Browns Mwebesa of Mirongo, Kyenjojo, for being the constant wind beneath my wings. Please share how your father or father figure has impacted your life as a woman.

Click here for the Japanese version.